#48 - Hit Lady

Wait. What? How did this movie get put into this set? First of all, it's not even about the mafia. Sure, it does involve organized crime, but not the mafia. If you couldn't tell by the title of the movie, this is about a woman assassin. Of course she is a beautiful woman assassin cause why would you hire anything else. But it's not the mafia. On those terms alone, it should be stricken from this collection. Not to mention the fact that the movie stinks.

Another reason this movie should be stricken from this set is the fact that its a made for TV movie. WHAT? How absolutely random is this freakin set anyways? You get an Italian movie, you get a absolute piece of garbage, you get pseudo serious Jersey mobster movie, and to wrap it up, you get a made for TV movie that isnt even about the mafia. What could make it even worse? Well, Hit Lady was produced by Aaron Spelling. That's right the genius responsible for producing such great TV hits as Hotel, Models, Inc., and Tori Spelling. I know, I know, he's made some things that aren't a complete waste of time like those were(are), but I think the ratio of okay to bad is not in his favor.

I can't even describe my befuddlement about the collection I have watched. To say that it was ecclectic would be giving it too fancy a word. And Hit Lady is just the topper. I wanted to change the channel at every commercial break. Hell, I wanted to change the channel while I was watching it. I wanted to scan through the online guide to see what else was on. It doesn't help that I am not a fan of made for TV movie, but this movie is just too simple and safe. There is no tension and no aggression that one would expect from this kind of topic. I guess that's what you get when you make something for mass television consumption and don't want to upset anyone about anything. It's not even targeted at a specific audience, it's just targeted at an audience.

Having said all that, I will say that something happened in this movie that shocked the hell out of me. You see, in this movie the lady assassin wants out but wont be allowed by her employer. She tries to run away after she can't complete a hit on a huge union leader. She seeks solace in her boyfriend, who turns out to also be an assassin sent to follow her in case she ever tried to run. That's not what is shocking and don't say that I ruined the end for you because this dude being an assassin might have been the most obvious plot twist ever and you weren't gonna watch this piece of crap anyway. What is shocking is that he actually kills the chick. WHAT!?!? That's right!! He kills her!! That's how the movie ends. You can understand my emotional confusion to be watching a movie I couldn't care less about, and then be shocked by the result. The damn thing got me at the end. That made me really hate it. Pieces of crap like this shouldn't throw me for a loop at the end. Damn you Aaron Spelling, damn you.