#96 - New York Stories

I liked exactly two thirds of this movie. This is when those of you who don't know anything about it go, "HUH". Well, this is one of those movies that is actually three short films with a common theme. It's like Four Rooms, except that it was released first and there are only three segments and I haven't seen Four Rooms anyways so I don't really know that its like four rooms in any other way than structure but that was my original point so I'm rolling with it. I bet if you guess really, really hard, you could figure out what the common theme in this movie is. The thing is, they aren't movies about New York, they are movie set in New York. And remember, I only liked two thirds of it. At this point, if it isn't completely obvious what that means, then maybe your time would be better spent trying to figure out why donut holes don't really fit into the holes in donuts.

First segment: Life Lessons by Marty S. You may have forgotten because it has been awhile since reviewing some of his movies, but that's Martin Scorsese. This movie is about an established artist, played by Nick Nolte, who has hired an aspiring young artist as his assistant, played by Rosanna Arquette. Now there's some backstory of sexual relations and her doubting her artistic abilities and his ability to create something for his next show, but what really makes it all interesting is the jealousy he portrays as she tries to break free and discover her own artistic voice. There are moments when he is a mentor, there are moments when he appears to be a manipulative pervert, there are moments when his jealousy causes him to make a scene in public, and there are moments when he appears to be truly remorseful in a pitiful kind of way. I found myself wondering if he was in control of his actions, yet fueled by jealousy, or if the jealousy was in control of him and he was intentionally fueling it himself. I'm not sure if that made any sense, but we get the answer at the end of the segment, and I'm not gonna tell you what it is. Just know that it's an "OH NO YOU DINT!!" moment.

Second Segment: Life without Zoe by Francis Ford Coppola. Another classic director. It has to be good, right? NOT!! This movie about a rich couples daughter who primarily lives in a shwanky Manhattan apartment with her butler while her parents are off being rich around the globe. Apparently she's a savvy young girl who has a knack for getting things and people together to come together. In retrospect, I guess I can see some of the intricacies of the script, co-written by Franky and his daughter Sophie, but it seems like more of it was written by a young girl...like Sophie. I just couldn't wrap my head around the storyline and that's mainly because I didn't know what kind of movie it was supposed to be. Much of it has the feel of a Nickelodeon type movie with a kid main character that uses their little wiles to save the bake sale, or some shit like that. But then, it's filmed in a style that is completely different from a kids movie. It's a juxtaposition that just doesn't make sense to me because most of it is cutesy stuff that contradicts much of what I see. I found myself wondering why the hell I was watching this movie. Did Franky walk down to breakfast one day and say to Sophie, "You write something and I will direct it, just make sure it's in New York." Then he reads it and goes, "Oh shit, she wrote a fucking kids movie. I know mobsters and Joseph Conrad, not kids movies. Oh well, we can call the whole thing art, give it a limited release just before the end of the new year and hope for some Oscar buzz." Hmmm...not so much.

Third Segment: Oedipus Wrecks by Woody. For those of you that have been reading all of these reviews you may remember that Radio Days was my first Woody Allen movie, and I wasn't too impressed. Well, this little segment is more of what I was looking for. It's stereotypical Woody and I know this because all I know are his stereotypes. Insecure Jewish guy who seeks advice from his therapist because of the neuroses he has developed from the relationship with his mother. It's classic, well I think it's classic. Woody is Woody, his mother drives him crazy, and his neurotic rambling is quite entertaining. Here's the twist, and it's funny as hell, they go to a magic show where his mother is volunteered to go on stage. She gets put into a box, the magician pokes swords through, and abracadabra, she has disappeared. But when he removes the swords and opens the box, she is actually missing!! Fantastically funny moment. Especially Larry David as the stage manager. Well, she appears a couple of weeks later, but it's just her head floating in the skyline over New York City. So bizarre, yet so amusing. And it's great writing too. Most of his neurotic nature is unfounded, and when she is gone, he feels that a great weight has been lifted from his life, but then his neuroses are amplified as she tells all of Manhattan the things that drove him crazy in the first place. Julie Kavner is great as the psychic who tries to help him out. Quite amusing. And I am ending this review because I have gone on longer than I usually like to. Felt I needed to give each segment is due, even if one of them didn't have much to offer.