Alexander !!!!!THE FIRST REVIEW!!!!!

So, this is the first movie I rented from Blockbuster.com. It was on the home page, right near the top, so I put it into my queue first. (Let me just say that as someone who designs lights, writing out the word "queue" instead of just a "Q" was very difficult to do) Anyways, I had mixed expectations about this movie cause it was something I wanted to see because I enjoy historical epics, but I hadnt heard anything good about it. Well.....there is a reason I didnt hear anything good about it. I didnt hate the movie, but I can only describe my feelings after watching it as, "...eh...".

First of all, am I suppossed to understand the drive of and get behind the willpower of Alexander? I don't. Am I suppossed to hate Alexander because of the death he causes in his blind ambition towards some sort of domination. I don't. I seriously dont have a freakin clue what the hell Oliver Stone wanted me to think about Alexander. And you know what kills me? I LOVE the moments in historical epics when the main characters rally the troops with a big motivational speech. The musical score rises as the energy and saliva level of the actor rises(sorry ladies, its always a dude). And this one fell flat. I'm not suprised half the army didnt rush back to their wives/children/young male playthings right then. Lame.

So then there's Angelina Jolie. I must admit that I dont think she's as hot as everybody else does, but MAN. Maybe its cause she was a sexy evil chick or something. I dont know, but holy crap she was looking good. Of course the ambiguity of character is a constant theme. I don't like her cause she's and evil manipulative bitch.....no...wait. I sympathize with her because One-eyed Iceman treated her like crap cause she was some witch who like to have sex with snakes in the bed and she is just a misunderstood woman who somehow looks the same age as her son....no....wait. And speaking of ol' fatty One-eye, one scene Alexander adores him and wants to do him proud, the next he hates him for treating his mother like crap, the next scene he is trying to rule like his father, then he's trying to surpass his fathers vision. How can a man who has made so many movies based on historical events have such an indecisive portrayal of an historical figure of such magnitude as Alexander the Great?

I will say that when movies are told in a non-linear style, I always enjoy the ways in which a director chooses to portray the passage of time. Some directors use a softer focus for scenes that took place in the past, other use different colored filters ofr their lenses. Oliver Stone choose the rare method of showing the passage of time by the measuring out the length of Alexander's mullet. Interesting technique. Do they teach that at NYU? What about the AFI? do they know about this convention? Revolutionary filmmaking right before our eyes.

Anyways, that was my first review. I actually watched the movie MONTHS ago, but didn't start this thing until now. I hope to have more specific details of the films I watch in the future. I am going to be playing catch up for a while, but I will do one for every DVD I watch. I'll go into more detail about my selection process and how exactly I ended up watching these movies. I'll also go into detail about why this isn't actually a b**g, even though its in the address for this page. I hate that damn "B" word, but more on that later. If you enjoyed this, tell your friends. If you hated it, tell your enemies. Subscribe if you like, hopefully they get better.