#8 - Carnal Knowledge

I was looking forward to this movie for two reasons. First, it's one of those movies I heard about as a kid and never saw. Not neccessarily a major classic, but it has a certain place in film history. Second, it was directed by Mike Nichols who also directed Closer, which you already know, if you read that review, I quite enjoyed. Plus, the subject matter of the two films is very similar. Same subject, same director, sounds like a good idea to me.

The movie starts off with two buddies at a college mixer. Jack Nicholson and Art Picasso Garfunkel. I was shocked to see Chevy Chase come out and say all of Jack's lines...oh wait, I'm getting mixed up here. What actually happens is they spot a pretty little Candice Bergen. So, Arty G goes up and starts some conversation with the shy little wallflower which leads to a relationship. Since this is Arty's first relationship, good ol' buddy Jack gives him advice on how to seduce the girl. You definately feel for Arty as he struggles with the pressures and awkwardness of sexuality. Jack's advice doesnt help, nor does the fact that he ends up sleeping the girl. So, instantly you dislike Jack for being a serious a-hole and you pull for the wimpy Arty.

But then the movie changes and I begin to get confused. We no longer follow Arty at all. Instead we follow the story of Jack in a post college world. Now maybe its the whole point, but we are suddenly following the guy who is not a good human being. He likes to think he knows how to treat women and how relationships work, but he's absolutely clueless about these things and what he really wants and its hard for me to follow a character like this. It is interesting that Jack continues to give guidance to Arty through adulthood, and yet he hasn't learned anything himself.

Ultimately, I find it hard to understand why people want to have anything to do with him. I don't understand why Ann Margaret would want to date him, much less marry him. I don't understand why she would stay with him while he treats her like an object. I find myself wondering if Jack is gonna sleep with Rita Moreno in a possible wife swap scene, but then I find that I dont care if they do cause Jack doesnt deserve any other woman, and she's a bitch anyways. Even after Jack and Ann are divorced and he is depressed and lonely, I feel no sympathy for him.

Don't get me wrong. I fully understand the impact and importance of this movie. It touches on subjects and situations that were rarely discussed in public at the time. And to have such name stars jumping right into these situations is a very bold action. I guess I just don't understand the point of the film other than to bring these types of conversations out into the open. I will admit that of all the films I have watched so far, this is one that warrants another look at some time. I think that there may be more to it than I picked up on. Of course, I could be wrong and it may just be a relatively pointless piece of crap that is no longer relevant.

#7 - The Betsy

Oh, where to begin with this movie. This is precisely the kind of movie this little journey of mine is intended for. I had no idea this movie existed and its really a genre from an era I am not very familiar with. By that I mean high dollar dramas from the late seventies. I had heard of Harold Robbins from my time spent working at Barnes and Noble, but I have not read anything from him. Nor had I ever heard anything about him. Judging from Boog's description on his site(Link's to the right...figure it out), he's not neccessarily anything I am in a hurry to check out. I think the term used was that he "can suck it". But hey, I saw this movie before reading that and I had an open mind. Unfortunately, that optimism didnt last long.

The Betsy is a family history following the life of a patriarch played by some British actor. He is the owner and founder of an automobile manufacturer and the launcing point for the whole movie is his unveiling of an unprecedented new vehicle named for his new daughter-in-law. Her name was Betsy. Get it? It's not complicated. But in this flashback heavy movie the main story involves his hiring of a top race car driver to help design a new revolutionary vehicle for a company that is being taken away from him. Its a new Betsy if you will. Are you still with me? Again, it's not complicated.

This hot young stud race car driver is played by Tommy Lee Jones and I gotta say the tough haggard look is good for him now. The same face back then is kinda ugly. But I guess it was his taut buttocks selling tickets back then. This guy sleeps with about three different ladies of varying ages and marital states, but then again so does the British actor. In fact, the old dudes affairs are the cause of many of his problems in life. This guy slept with everybody that wasn't nailed down, and he tried with them too. Its okay for Tommy Lee to do it cause he uses his powers of seduction for good. The thing is, you knew that they were gonna sleep with who they slept with, but I really didnt care if they did or not. Even though I knew bad things were going to happen because of it, I didn't care because it was like old guy is up to it again.

You may be thinking to yourself, "two guys sleeping around with a bunch of girls, this sounds like a soap opera". Well guess what? Thats EXACTLY what it is. A 2+ hour festival of backstabbing, cut throat activities, and all that other "intrigue" that goes along with soap opera stories. Its actually kind of Shakespearian in its plot elements. By this I am refering to the overthrowing of powers, the secret deals made to take over power, the manipulative acts of various characters, and the sweeping, epic nature of it all. But it just doesnt work in this non Shakespearian format. Its not the worst movie I have ever seen, but it was just so long and tedious that I had no real sympathy with any if the characters, except for maybe the granddaughter, but then she goes and screws over her dad. So I didnt care about her either. Side note on her, it's very clear when she gets naked that this film was made before the trend was to keep all the hedges clean on the southern lawn. Get it? It's not complicated.

#6 - Closer

Oh man. This movie is guilty pleasure after guilty pleasure. And I'm not just talking about the scenes with Natalie Portman as a stripper. There are so many interesting things going on with this movie, I almost dont know where to begin. Basically, this is a movie about relationships, love, sex, honesty, fidelity, trust, and everything in between. Each of the four main characters have moments of dishonesty, as well as mistrust and heartache because of it. The intertweaving relationships between them are extremely compelling, dynamic, and just plain 'ol fun to watch.

Alright, stay with me here because I am going to attempt a synopsis of the initial raltionships of the characters...in one sentence. So, Jude Law is a writing struggling to write a novel and sees Natalie Portman get hit by a car and helps her out which helps her fall in love with him which eventually leads to marriage and the completion of his novel which is having the picture for the dust jacket taken by Julia Roberts whom he develops a crush for but does not respond so he tries tricky little games by sending Clive Owen to meet her thinkinga random stranger is going to have sex with him but finds out he was tricked but still is charmed by her and they eventually get married. Got all that?

The scene where Jude Law tricks Clive Owen is so much fun. My policy for all of my reviews is that the "no spoiler" rule is 100% waived. I figure that the movies are on DVD so you've had your chance. But I will use the rule in situations where I feel a good moment in a good movie could be ruined for someone who hasn't seen it. For example, I somehow managed to avoid hearing the ending for The Sixth Sense for months and it made a HUGE difference for me because I was able to get involved in the story as presented to me. Anyways, I'm not going to tell you how Jude Law tricks Clive Owen. Just know that the scene is great and the scene that follows with Julia Roberts is great as well.

Speaking of Julia Roberts and Clive Owen, they have a scene where he confronts her about her fidelity and it is unbelievably strong and intense. In this scene, Clive Owen is so powerful it was literally jaw dropping. I tell you, I didn't know squat about Clive Owen until recently, but seeing him in this movie and in Sin City I have to say, this guy is GOOD. Everyone in this film is truly commited to the characters and the story about them. There are so many scenes of dynamic acting and character interaction that the film is truly compelling from start to finish. If you haven't seen it, go see it.

#5 - Celluloid Closet

I just wasn't paying attention with this one. The subject of After Stonewall isn't obvious unless you've heard about the Stonewall uprising. I had not, so it wasn't clear to me. With Celluloid Closet you have to be paying absolutely no attention to realize that the word "closet" means "gay". As previously stated, I was not paying attention. This is a documentary that chronicles the history of homosexuality in film. Hence the "celluloid". Get it? Just remember....closet means gay.....wardrobe means Christian.

This was a good documentary. It was essentially just a film study, the topic of which was homosexual characters. The history of these characters ranges from foppish and ambiguous characters in early cinema to openly gay characters of more recent film like Philadelphia. In between are drag characters like Tony Randall and Jack Lemon in Some Like it Hot and a period of time when gay characters became more common, but their struggles were about dealing with the sinful feelings they were having. Many good commentaries were given by the performers in these films, as well as film historians, critics and the like.

I was interested in looking for some paralells between the history of the gay rights movements I learned about in After Stonewall, and the films discussed in The Celluloid Closet. To my amazement, there was very little. I came to realize that this was because the films made were not made by, or even for gay people. More often then not, they were made for an audience that wasnt prepared or willing to see a film with an openly gay character. Even if the actors or filmmakers were homosexuals, they were not able to express things completely because it would be bad business. So even as homosexuality became a little more accepted, it was only under certain terms and conditions, therefore, not completely expressed.

Holy crap, whats with all this serious business? I guess sometimes you just can't help it. Anyways, I have figured out the secret to this damn subscription mailing list thing at the bottom of this page. If you want emails when I post new reviews, then subscribe. If not, YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN JACKASS!!! More reviews to come soon....if your lucky.

#4 - Waking Life

Well, here is the first animated DVD I have to review and let me tell you right away that I loves me some cartoons. I like all sorts of animation styles from a number of different artists and for a number of different audiences. I like Anime as long as its not about robots, cause really, I dont care. I like Disney, Looney Tunes, all those shorts from back in the day. I like animation that is truly unique like Yellow Submarine and the animated sections of Pink Floyd's the Wall. I would put this movie in the same category as those two, but only in terms of pushing the envelope for what animation can for storytelling and unique imagery. The other two movies have so much more going for them other than the animation.

But first, this movie is by the guy who mad Dazed and Confused. But don't expect to see a similar movie. Waking Life is a series of dream sequences in which the main character floats conversations and discussions about life, philosophy, metaphysics, politics and the universe. It's interesting that the only dialogue that is similar between the two is spoken by the geeks and the stoners, I mean the REAL stoners. But there are moments in Waking Life that have an anti-authority theme that is somewhat similar to Randall "Pink" Floyd's mindset at the end of Dazed and Confused.

Now I'm not one much for a lot of philosophy. Especially metaphysics and theoretical physics. It's interesting to hear, but people who are constantly mulling these things over and trying to tell everybody about it make me want to stab my ears out. Essentially, this movie is a series of those discussions, which, if not for the animation style, would have been so unbelievably boring to watch. It is the animation that kept me engaged in the film and actually kept me listening to the philosophical and political talk.

What they did for this movie was to film the entire thing in digital. After editing, they used their computers to draw the animation over the digital video. If you have seen the animated Charles Schwab(Lay off the cotton, you Schwab!!) commercials, then you have seen the technique. But, they divided scenes up and had a number of different artists doing the animation for them. Some are more realistic while others have a very abstract interpretation. This plus the different discussions for each scene makes it very episodic(You Marxists!!!). It is so visually captivating and unique that I was completely absorbed throughout.

I learned something while watching this film. I discovered that people who talk about metaphysics and philosophy do so with a passion and faith that is the same as those who talk about theology. Its as if modern philosophy is a replacement for religion when an individual rejects religious standards and doctrine. Both are faith based, but one just lets you sleep in on Sundays. There's my serious momement, but if you pay attention to this movie, you can't help but reflect and think about things that were discussed.

#3 - After Stonewall

This documentary represents the dangers involved in just clicking away and adding movies to your queue list without paying attention to what you are doing. Follow me on this one...according to the recommendations on Blockbuster.com, someone who wants to rent Alexander may be renting it because the character of Alexander has homosexual affairs with a guy who looks eerily similar to the guy playing Ra in the movie Stargate. Therefore, they may be interested in a documentary about the gay rights movement in America since the 1969 uprising at Stonewall Bar in New York's Greenwich Village. It's a stretch, but what the hell. It may not be high on my list of topics due to a bit of homophobia, but I said I would watch whatever comes up, and I will do it. Turns out it is a very well done documentary that discussed many things that I knew little about.

I'll be honest, I watched it a few months ago and the details are fuzzy. Remember, I am catching up from the start of my rental history to the start of this site(not a b**g!!). Basically, the film is a history of modern homosexuality in America. Different groups seeking rights, different groups looking to prevent them from having equal rights, and a number of historic moments such as the outbreak of AIDS and the struggle for adoption rights. Now, I wanna avoid getting TOO serious for TOO long cause that's just not how I do things, but for the most part this was a pretty objective film. There are a couple of times when the tone is one of "them against us", but for the most part is was told from an internal perspective of people just trying to live their lives like everyone else. I recommend it, especially if your To Wong Foo tape is worn out.

This is a good point to get into the DVD selection process. As I have said before, I have developed a system, but I did not have one at first. When I started my subscription I clicked on the first movie at the top of the home page. After clicking on that, the web site gives you recommendations based on your selection. These recomendations are questionable at times, but there are usually four options. From this point I decided that I would forever select the left recommendation and work my way through the system. If that was in my queue or I had already seen it, I would choose one of the others until I got to a point where all four recommendations were spoken for. Are you bored yet? Am I sufficiently anal retentive enough for you?Anyways, I did this willy nilly for some time until I found the top rentals list. From now on, I start my string of selections from that list beginning at the highest one I havent seen. This way I wont be reviewing just movies you have never heard of in your life. Also, I don't watch sequels first. If a sequel to a movie I havent seen comes up, the the first movie goes in first. Got it? There's more details, but I dont want to cempletely bore the piss out of you. I want you to actually come back and read this site again. Until next time...

#2 - Motorama

I look at this picture and I think to myself, "Hey, Drew Barrymore is in this movie. She's got a nice flower in her hair and looks to play a prominent part. Perhaps she may be the object of desire for the kid with the eye patch." After watching this movie, I couldn't have been more wrong. Why, she's barely in the movie at all. She's in a brief fantasy sequence as a symbol of the tropical paradise that is waiting should the one eyed kid be able to spell out Motorama using the game pieces earned at his not-so-local refueling station. THATS IT!!!! Oh, if that was only the one wrong thing with this movie. But alas, I'm just getting started.

Let me begin by saying that I enjoyed the premise of this movie. A young boy begins an odyssey to collect all of the neccessary game pieces to win a contest. It is very abstract and at some times surreal. There are odd, exaggerated characters that actually blend in well with the environment the film creates. But in my mind, it just falls flat in the execution department.

Now, I don't like to criticize a movie because it doesnt have a large budget, but in this movie, it made a huge difference. Some of the special effects are awkward and pretty damn cheesy looking. I'm still not sure that even if they had a budget to make those effects look good that it would have made a difference. The main culprit was towards the end of the movie and I think it was too late. The damage was done.

So, we've got this kid going all over some country trying to get his game pieces and all I can think is, "Man, I really wanna punch this stupid child actor kid in the face." He wasn't very good and I dont give any slack to child actors for bad performances when they are in movies. You get to that point and you suck, then you suck. It was really painful the more obsessed and exasperated he got with his journey. Macauly Culkin called and said you weren't very convincing as a little kid acting like an adult.

Here's another thing that was just dumb and really reflect the problems with the movie as a whole. The character the kid plays apparently spends a lifetime on this journey, and he ages accordingly. Except that they put old man makeup on the kid when he is in old age. Okay...... I understand the abstraction, but I am at a loss to understand why. I'm sure that there is a message about society and people and all that crap, but I find it hard to care enough to even think about what that may be. Its not a good movie when you are constantly befuddled. THATS RIGHT, I SAID BEFUDDLED!!!! It was so dissapointing I cant even find any good jokes to make about it. What a waste.

Anyways, I'll talk more about my system for movie selection at some other time. Just trying to write this review has made my brain hurt.

Alexander !!!!!THE FIRST REVIEW!!!!!

So, this is the first movie I rented from Blockbuster.com. It was on the home page, right near the top, so I put it into my queue first. (Let me just say that as someone who designs lights, writing out the word "queue" instead of just a "Q" was very difficult to do) Anyways, I had mixed expectations about this movie cause it was something I wanted to see because I enjoy historical epics, but I hadnt heard anything good about it. Well.....there is a reason I didnt hear anything good about it. I didnt hate the movie, but I can only describe my feelings after watching it as, "...eh...".

First of all, am I suppossed to understand the drive of and get behind the willpower of Alexander? I don't. Am I suppossed to hate Alexander because of the death he causes in his blind ambition towards some sort of domination. I don't. I seriously dont have a freakin clue what the hell Oliver Stone wanted me to think about Alexander. And you know what kills me? I LOVE the moments in historical epics when the main characters rally the troops with a big motivational speech. The musical score rises as the energy and saliva level of the actor rises(sorry ladies, its always a dude). And this one fell flat. I'm not suprised half the army didnt rush back to their wives/children/young male playthings right then. Lame.

So then there's Angelina Jolie. I must admit that I dont think she's as hot as everybody else does, but MAN. Maybe its cause she was a sexy evil chick or something. I dont know, but holy crap she was looking good. Of course the ambiguity of character is a constant theme. I don't like her cause she's and evil manipulative bitch.....no...wait. I sympathize with her because One-eyed Iceman treated her like crap cause she was some witch who like to have sex with snakes in the bed and she is just a misunderstood woman who somehow looks the same age as her son....no....wait. And speaking of ol' fatty One-eye, one scene Alexander adores him and wants to do him proud, the next he hates him for treating his mother like crap, the next scene he is trying to rule like his father, then he's trying to surpass his fathers vision. How can a man who has made so many movies based on historical events have such an indecisive portrayal of an historical figure of such magnitude as Alexander the Great?

I will say that when movies are told in a non-linear style, I always enjoy the ways in which a director chooses to portray the passage of time. Some directors use a softer focus for scenes that took place in the past, other use different colored filters ofr their lenses. Oliver Stone choose the rare method of showing the passage of time by the measuring out the length of Alexander's mullet. Interesting technique. Do they teach that at NYU? What about the AFI? do they know about this convention? Revolutionary filmmaking right before our eyes.

Anyways, that was my first review. I actually watched the movie MONTHS ago, but didn't start this thing until now. I hope to have more specific details of the films I watch in the future. I am going to be playing catch up for a while, but I will do one for every DVD I watch. I'll go into more detail about my selection process and how exactly I ended up watching these movies. I'll also go into detail about why this isn't actually a b**g, even though its in the address for this page. I hate that damn "B" word, but more on that later. If you enjoyed this, tell your friends. If you hated it, tell your enemies. Subscribe if you like, hopefully they get better.