#109 - King of the Zombies

Oh man, there is a crapload to talk about with this one. Which is kind of odd considering that it's only an hour long. But my plate is full, so I'll get right to it. First and foremost, we have some legal business to discuss. WHAT? It's true. You see, there is a bit of a dilemma involved with this movie. Actually, it's not the movie itself, it's the DVD it came on. This movie was part of a three movie DVD entitled Ghostly Grins. No problem with that, we have run into this before. The problem is that the third movie on this DVD is a sequel, and I have not seen its predecessor. The conflict here is between the well established "no sequel" rule, and the desire to watch all three movies in the DVD, as they have been packaged for sale. After brief deliberation with unofficial consultant, Bubba K, Esq., it was more than time to bring the matter to my legal representation, Fosberg and Chubbs. After much discussion, it was determined that I cannot sacrifice the "no sequel" rule. While willing to go along with whatever ruling was reached, I didn't feel right not watching the last movie. But alas, luck was on my side. There just so happens to be a DVD with the sequel and it's predecessor on it. Therefore, I can rent this DVD in order to see all movies on the DVD, and keep the "no sequel" rule intact. So it's done. The only problem is that blockbuster.com is continuing to deliver its movies in a ridiculously inconsistent manner. So, I'm watching the first two movies on the DVD, and I'll have to wait until the other DVD arrives to watch the other two movies. Kind of a pain in the ass, but this strengthens the "no sequel" rule. Maybe next time I will pay closer attention to what movies are on a DVD compilation, and do something about it ahead of time.

Anyways...King of the Zombies. Sounds good doesn't it? Well, you would be wrong. It's not a very good movie at all. But like many older movies, there is a bit of entertainment to be had by watching them, purely on seeing how bad they are. The good ones reach a level of being so bad that they are good. This one has it's moments, but ultimately it falls short of that status, probably because there is too much talking and not enough zombie action. And lets be real, the zombie action that is there, isn't that great. I mean, how is it possible that an hour long movie about zombies can have moments of tedium? Instead of a movie where they have to fight off zombies and destroy the king of the zombies, we get a bit of a whodunnit on a a tropical island, mixed in with a bit of campy humor. But its all so obvious, from crashing a plane into a graveyard, to the menacing master of the house, and the freaking title of the movie. The problem is, they drag it out over most of the movie. "Something's not right here." "I agree, but I don't know what it is." Gee, what could set you off? Could it be that the master of the house has a striking resemblance to Ardath Bey in The Mummy?(That's the old one people) Could it be that this guy has a wife who is essentially a vegetable? Could it be that every time you enter into a scary house, there is usually a reason for it being so scary? Seriously, you took an hour to tell your story, and most of it was spent on two guys figuring out the most obvious mystery known to man.

And here's the big kicker of it all...the movie is blatantly racist. I'm not talking about anything as blatant as black face, minstrel type of rascist, but it's more than your run of the mill black milkman kind of character who enters the room with something along the lines of a "Yessuh". Let me explain. One of the boneheads who takes to long to figure out what's wrong with the island has a valet, or whatever he was called, and this guy is black. The man is the comic relief because nothing says funny more than a sassy black sidekick. Okay, fine. Whatever. But it gets really rascist with some of the lines they wrote for him. I have examples, and I wrote them down to get them exactly right. First and foremost, the plane they are all in crashes on a strange tropical island. The valet wakes up with his head on a tombstone. He is afraid that he has died and begins to freak out when the other two find him and reassure him. What's his line after that? "I thought I was a little off color to be a ghost." Are you kidding me? I mean, I knew this went on, but I had never seen it with my own eyes, and had no idea how blatant it was. The guy sees a zombie for the first time, and what does he say? "If it was in me, I sure would be pale now." I was shocked. But as bad as it is, you've gotta keep this stuff out there. I know that there are people out there who would be so appalled at this, and they would never want this movie to be seen again. But I say it stays. This kind of thing was the norm back then and we have to know what it was like in order to make sure that we are never like that again. You take this away, as bad as it is, and no one learns from it. All that aside, I'm of the opinion that it shouldn't be watched because its a crappy movie. Forget the rascist part, the movie sucks on its own merit.