#78 - The Circuit

How in the hell did this get into my queue? You all can see what has come to me and it doesn't make any damn sense that this should be delivered. Whats even more crazy is that I know whats coming and it doesnt make sense that this would be there. There's random, and then there is this. Normally I wouldn't mind except for this is one of the worst movies I have seen in quite some time. To say that it is a straight to video classic would be giving it too much credit. To say that it is perfect for late nate premium cable channels would be giving it too much credit. I can't believe they even try to make movies like this anymore. Do we need any more low budget movies about underground fighting rings with cutthroat fight promoters and a natural fighter of European descent who doesn't want to fight but does in order to save a loved one? And lets not forget the other really good fighter who is the bad guy fighter and is usually flamboyant and Asian. Yes people, it's that kind of movie.

You know what I was thinking when I was watching this movie? I was thinking, "Get off my dick you fucking snake". Wait...that's not it...that was something else. What I was actually thinking was, "Betty White just Shatner pants". No...no...that wasn't it either. Let's see here...oh yeah, I was really thinking was, "We gave the mighty Thor a rusty trombone". No, that wasn't it. Let me think here. Oh yeah, I was thinking, "If my grandma looked like that, I'd wanna fuck Jack Palance". Alright, that wasn't it either. In all honesty, what was running through my mind was this movie was just like Kickboxer, except it didn't have the same "masterful" script writing...or acting...or directing.

How do you write a review of an obviously bad movie? You could say what was wrong with it, but LOOK AT IT!!! What do you expect from a movie that has the tag line "No rules. No limits. No survivors."? First of all, that shot you see of the fighting arena with the Medeival Times stripe on the wall is the ONLY shot you have for the whole movie. Sure there are close ups and some crowd shots with bad crowd noises dubbed over, but all the shots are from the same direction. And the fights suck. With movies like this you wanna at least some cool moves, or some tricky, cool camera shots that hide your bad choreography. This had neither!!! And see the ripped dude in the picture, he's the main character and he looks like some bad ass fighting dude. WRONG!! He's the former undefeated champion of the circuit and doesn't wanna get sucked back in. What a bunch of played out tripe. It really gets stupid when the old guy with the cane from within the curcuit has to train the old champion because of the intensity it takes to succeed these days. That's all fine and dandy, but looking at those fights you would see nobody fighting to the death or very intense at all. Shite on screen, my friends, shite on screen.