#77 - Bus Stop

Shhhhhhh......listen.....you might be able to hear it.....even now. What is it you might be hearing? It's the echoes from me beating my skull against the wall while watching this god awful movie. There!! I said it. No build up. No waiting to see if I liked the old movie or not. It's plain. It's simple. It's simple and plain. NO. This had to be one of the most annoying movies I have seen in a while. Usually when I watch an older movie, I am able to recognize what it is that movie watchers from that time enjoyed about it, even though I may not. In this case...I don't see it. It's just lame, and the weirdest part about it is that the writer responsible for this is the same guy responsible for Splendor in the Grass. Talk about two movies that couldn't be more different from each other.

See the cowboy in the picture? His name is Don Murray. I dont know what else he has done but just about everything he does in this movie makes me want to shove pencils into my eyes. It's a sleeper for being the most annoying and ridiculously written character...EVER. And I'm not talking about characters written for movies where the characters are intended to be ridiculous. Apparently this yokel has spent all of his life on a farm in Montana and has absolutely no social skills whatsoever. Are you chuckling yet? So we have ourselves a charming little fish out of water movie when he goes to Phoenix to compete in a rodeo...right? WRONG!! This guy is so bull headed, loud, and obnoxious with his lack of social savvy that in real life he probably would have had the crap beat out of him on day one, which would be nice because then the movie would have gotten over sooner. It's as if the writer took every possible farm hand cliche, amplified it to an unrealistic level, and then expect people to think it's funny. Guess again. I think of the movie Elf. That was funny becuase a lot of the humor dealt with how Will Ferrell interacted in a world that is familiar to us. This was not the case in Bus Stop. Instead I was forced to watch a stubborn loud mouth do whatever he wanted to without any consequences for any of it. I guess I was suppossed to laugh at his lack of knowledge about the ways of the world, but whereas Crocodile Dundee adapted to NYC with his own style, this cowboy just did whatever the hell wanted. Not entertaining at all.

Oh, by the way, is that a "southern" accent you have there Marilyn. Is that really what women from the Ozarks sound like? Cause that didn't sound like any kind of southern accent I have ever heard of. In all honesty, whatever it was Marilyn was trying to do with her accent, it didn't work and sounded awful. The worst part was when she tried to sing Black Magic with that bad accent. It was unbelievable because Marilyn was doing the sultry thing that she is famous for, but with that bad accent and the song was horrible. I wonder if Sammy Davis, Jr. sang this song first because I cant imagine anybody wanting to sing it after watching Marylin hack through it. Seriously, it was bad.

And to bring it back full circle, the most preposterous thing about the whole movie was story itself. A loud mouth from the country goes to Phoenix to compete in a rodeo. On the way there his friend suggests that he use this trip to learn how to interact to women. Good ol' cowboy says he will know his angel when he sees her, and obviously, Marilyn is that angel. From that point on he drags her all over Phoenix against her will, and about every five minutes you get to hear him boldy state, "that woman is gonna murry me". She tries to get away because he is obviously crazy, but he gets her and kidnaps her. On the way back to Montana, they get caught in a snowstorm. They argue and when cowboy Bob is an obnoxious jerk, the bus driver fights him to teach him a lesson. Apparently, when a kidnapper and stalker that you want nothing to do with gets his ass kicked and then apologizes without really learning anything, this is what makes a woman fall madly in love with somebody. Are you freaking kidding me? This idiot who has been absolutely annoying the entire time gets his ass kicked and you feel sorry for him and then fall in love? How the hell does that make sense? Nothing says romantic comedy more than a mild case of Stockholm Syndrome.

#76 - The Ghost and Mrs. Muir

I'm getting tired of watching these classic movies that either won Oscars, or were nominated for them, and then finding out that they don't really do jack squat for me. It's a crappy little situation cause I know they aren't really bad movies. I can see why the people of the time enjoyed them so much, but I couldn't be less interested. Give me some White Heat, and you can take your Great Ziegfeld. This is just another on that list.

Even though I havent checked it out and seen what else was nominated, or what came out the same year, I don't know how this could be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar. I really don't. I can understand why people went to see it, I just don't get the nomination. Here's the main reason why: I don't think Rex Harrison is any good. I didn't like him in Dr. Dolittle and I didn't particularly like him here. He's too stiff. He's too unnatural. It's like watching a 2x4 with a bad sea captains accent. In his first scene with Gene Tierney he's talking with a wierd pirate-like voice that is apparently supposed to be a scary ghost captain voice, but it wasn't. It didn't help that his voice was clearly dubbed in afterwards, and what was dubbed did not match the physical gestures. Think of a stiff, rigid, water logged actor playing a sea captain's ghost and not moving around very much or having any noticable facial gestures talking with a loud "YARRRR" type of voice, and then inexplicably losing it halfway through the scene, never to have it come back again, even when he is trying to scare other people. Call me too critical, but you aren't allowed to be nominated for Best Picture if you have bad sound dubbing.

Seriously though, this is only the second movie I have seen with Rex Harrison in it, and I have been less than impressed both times. How did this guy get famous? He barely sang in a crappy musical, he barely moves his body, and the man has no concept of range or levels. It's like he's on stage and is captured in a bad case of stage fright that has rendered him virtually immovable, yet he can still vocalize, but even that isnt very good. I just don't get his success.

As far as the movie goes, I wasn't really into the story. But, I am aware that this is a personal preference, and not anything to do with bad writing. It also didn't help that the two inexplicably fell in love. Again, it's not inexplicable because of the writing, it's inexplicable because no woman could fall in love with a boat anchor pretending to be a captain. I actually bought her falling in love with the scheister later in the movie more because that guy actually has a personality, even for a sleazeball. And there's something sad about a woman who lives a lonely life waiting for death in order to see her lover again. To some, it may seem hopelessly romantic. I think its kind of sad. Walks on the beach aren't that fulfilling, and nobody could fall that much in love with a small dinghy.

#75 - American Beauty

Hey!! How about that? I DO watch movies that were made within the last ten years that most of you have heard of. And its an Oscar winner no less. And it stars the best American born manager of a British theatre you have ever heard of...if you've ever heard of anything like that. And it also stars one of the best no-name supporting actors of the last several years. You know the type. They are in a ton of movies and always do good work, but don't exactly have headliner status. All in all, this is a well thought out, well made, and suprisingly intriguing movie. I liked much of it, but for this review, I am going to talk about what I didn't like about it. Actually, it's not so much what I didn't like, it's more of a number of observations about a movie that was quite popular, and apparently, the best one of the year.

Let's talk about Kevin Spacey. In case you were wondering, he's the British theatre manager I was talking about earlier. His whole character in this movie, from narrator to his relationships with everyone else and himself is an absolute enigma to me. It's fascinating because we are drawn to him because of his bitter, dark sarcasm towards the world, but that means we are rooting for a man who falls for an underage girl. And we DO root for him. We want him to tell people where to shove it. We want him to stand up and piss people off, but much of what he does is to attract his daughters friend. It's interesting because he's not a bad person, definately not an anti-hero, but he is a pedophile. To his credit, it's not the pedophilia that we are rooting for in his character. We actually root against that, but still want him to be bold and abrasive. I think much of the reason we are on his side is because we know that all of it will be in vain. We know from the start that he is going to die and we want to see him die in a different state than what he is in at the start of the movie. So we get behind him, even if some of his actions are questionable.

And then there is his lovely wife. To say that the two are estranged would be quite an understatement. She takes on the the largest share of Spacey's ferocity, and deservedly so. She has become detached from her family, and in some cases reality. It's great watching him tell her where to stick it, and how hard. I gotta be honest though, I was not impressed by Anette Bennings performance. Whereas everybody else had a very internal character, she seemed to be more of a caricature that anything else. I understand the idea of her character being a caricature because that is what she presents to the world. The strong, take no prisoners real estate agent and the neat and tidy, clean cut family woman are all an image she wants to show the world, but we know that it is all show. I understand all of that, but Benning's performance is a little too much caricature, and not enough of the internal material that makes that stronger. I instantly think of the dinner scene when Spacey and Benning are fighting and Spacey throws the asparagus against the wall. I didnt think the way Benning played that scene was real or connected. Too much show and not enough feel.

I have to mention the performance of Chris Cooper. He is every bit intense as he is frightening. I dont remember if he got nominated for a supporting Oscar, but he should have, and with great consideration. The pain, the anguish, and the torment are all so strong and overpowering, but it's never overdone or out of place. Great performance.

I found myself wondering what the filmmakers were trying to say with this movie. It's not merely a slam against suburban life or modern living, and I think that breaking it down to just being a message about skeletons in the closet is too easy. But there is a message in there. I think the message lies in Wes Bentley's character. It's his outlook on the world that we are suppossed to take away. While everybody gets caught up in their appearance to others and other insignificant things, Bentley notices the poetic beauty of the world, even if he is looking at a dead animal, or a floating piece of garbage. There is beauty all around you, you just have to look for it.

Unrelated Lollapalooza review #3: So this was the last day of the festival, and the most important thing was that I watch Blues Traveler. Everything else would just be bonus. BT is one of my top three bands I had never seen them play before, and by all accounts they are awesome live. But more on them later. I started off by checking out The Redwalls. Didn't know anything about them, but took a chance and was rewarded. They have some pretty good songs and I was quite pleased. I think its clear that they listened to the Beatles in their youth because a lot of their sound had a strong echo of the lads from Liverpool. I wandered around and checked out the last bit of The Hold Steady. I wanted to see more because they have a lot of energy when they perform. It was clear that they love to play for an audience and are proud of being from Minnesota. After that I watched Ben Kweller, who was okay. Not bad, and not great. Right after that was 30 Seconds to Mars. That was dissappointing. They really aren't that good. I got the feeling that they wouldn't be as popular as they are if Jared Leto wasn't fronting the band. It's also not really my kind of music, so that may have something to do with it. Leto does get credit for throwing popsicles into the crowd and climbing to the top of the stage for a song, but he loses all that for his overuse of the "F" word. I'm all for swearing, but there is such a thing as too much for no particular reason other that you know you can. I left that early in order to get to the other side and check out The Shins. This was a dilemma because The Shins overlapped with The Reverend Horton Heat, and I loves me some Rev. Luckily, and unfortunately, the sound guys helped make that decision for me. I stayed towards the back of the crowd in order to skip out and split my time between the two sets, but the sound was so bad I couldn't hear the lyrics. The yells from the crowd to turn it up were louder than the lyrics. So I left to check out all of the Rev's set, and I was handsomely rewarded. This guy is AWESOME!!! He rocks out from start to finish and does not let up. Its great music played well. And the Rev is the character he sings about. He looks it, he lives it, he is it. The looks he gives when he sings are priceless and punctuated by his extremely expressive, icy blue eyes. Tremendously entertaining. The psychobilly freakout was in full force. After that I had a choice, I could go get relatively close for Wilco and then be relatively close for Blues Traveler, or I could sacrifice getting a good shit at Wilco in order to get really close for BT. I chose the latter since it was going to be my first BT show. I heard some of Wilco, and what I did hear sounded pretty good, but it was far away. I'll have to check them out some other time because I enjoy their work. In the meantime, I was stuck between an obnoxiously loud stoner kid and the guy who was going to be seeing BT for the 64th time in his life. Hey stoner kid, the reason people aren't talking to you is because you are annoying and loud, and this is coming from someone who spent most of his youth being annoying and loud. And #64 over there, you are a loser. You mean to tell me that your fat ass has seen this band 63 times before now since 1995. Thats over six shows a year!!! Now I love BT, have all of their albums, studio and live, but there are other bands out there. Some people may be impressed by the little trivia facts(what the band members drink during the show and why) that you may know from so much exposure, but I am not. I am also not impressed that you know the roadies by their first names. And another thing, you aren't cool when you yell at them before a show trying to get their attention, they are trying to work and dont have time for someone like you. Get a life. But hey, once the music started, it was all good. Unbelievable. They jam and jam and jam. So good. They have a tremendous ability to start a song, transition into another song, transition into yet another song, and then when you have almost forgotten about the original song, they seamlessly go back to it and finish the whole thing up with resounding success. Throughout the festival, people sang along to lyrics, but no crowd sang along as loud and as unified as this crowd. It was great. These guys have something special that may not translate into immediate album sales, but do garner a tremendous following of devoted fans that they clearly appreciate, and even recognize, especially when they have been there 63 times before. By the time the show got over, I was in the front row, up against the rail. As soon as they got done, the Chili Pappers were starting all the way on the other side of the park. In the hour and a half they had for their set, I went from the front row at Blues Traveler, all the way across Grant Park and to about 20 feet from the front row at the Chili Peppers. It was one of the hardest move ups I have ever done. It was hot, sweaty, and crowded from way back. I was almost denied the journey was creamed from behind by a crowd surfer. She was knocked down pretty hard and wouldnt have been able to make it out of the crowd on her own. Luckily, she had friend with her, and I could keep going. And I kept going. The key is to sneak up when people are getting out so you arent just bulling your way through, which is a much needed technique at times. The best is to shift up when a crowd surfer comes by. Everybody groups together and you can sneak right on up. Its even better when they fall. Here's a sidenote: when you are crowd surfing, lay flat so there is more surface area for people to hold you up with. When a crowd surfer comes by, just walk them along with your hands. Dont push them so hard that they fly beyond where people are paying attention, therefore leading the crowd surfer to an untimely death, and people get crushed underneath them. Oh, I guess the Chili Peppers were cool, there was so much going on that it was hard to really pay attention. It was harder to move up when they played their slower songs because people weren't dancing around as much, but they seemed to play pretty well. That's it. That was my three day weekend earlier in the month. I only I didnt need food and water, I could have seen even more stuff, but I saw a TON of great bands, all of which played as hard as they could for the crowd. It was a great experience.

#74 - In Old Chicago

I gotta be honest. I wasn't in the mood for this kind of movie when I watched it. I probably didn't give it the attention it deserved, but thats the way it goes. It just didn't pull me in right away like Alexander's Ragtime Band did. Why do I bring that movie up? Well, the male and female leads are all the same people. It's a team. It's a blockbuster trio. Honestly, these three people work very well together. The interaction between them is pretty damn similar between the three of them, just a few changes here and there. But leadin man falling in love with leadin lady and Don Ameche as the supporting guy with the mustache. Brothers or bandmates, it really doesnt matter.

I think the reason I was pulled into this movie as much as the other is because there isnt any music by Irving Berlin. Okay, that and the fact that I was seeing the same characters again, but I think I have made that point already.

I'll tell you what, even though I spent the middle of the movie trying to thaw my stupid little freezer enough so that I could close the door, the ending is quite well done. The brothers fight against an angry mob while trying to save Chicago from the big fire. The scenes were well planned out, well shot, and the special effects were quite well done. I was impressed and it was the only part of the movie that had me completely engaged. Of course, I have to deduct points for the origin of the fire. I know it started in a theatre and not in the house of these two guys mother. Thats what you get when you light a wooden building with flammable curtains and paint with candles and oil.

Unrelated Lollapallooza segment 2: Actually, its not that unrelated since both things took place in or near downtown Chicago. Okay thats a stretch. Anyways, on day two I started by watching Nada Surf. They rock. They were very good and have a classic sound. I need to get some of their stuff. I checked out Coheed and Cambria and they were alright. They did a good job at what they were doing, but I just wasnt into it all that much. I will tell you that the lead singer has one hell of a head of hair. Eat your heart out Sideshow Bob. After they got done, Wolfmother started on the other side of the field. They had a great introduction by the man, Perry Ferrell himself, and they were pretty good. Kind of a rocky, somwhat psychadelic, rockin kind of sound. Hard to describe, but it was entertaining. I cut out of there early to check out Sonic Youth on the other side of the park. They were fantastic. Most of what they did was from their new album, but they played great. I need more of their stuff too, but there is a lot to choose from. After they got done, The Dresden Dolls started on the other side of the field. Sound familiar. Bands were going back and forth from stage to stage all day long on two sides of the park. And then there were the side stages going on too. Non-stop music all day long. Now, I have heard some of The Dresden Dolls stuff and I enjoyed the edgy cabaret sound that they created. When they play live, it is very intense, energetic, and quite entertaining. They have classic cabaret makeup on and its a guy on drums and a girl on piano, and she is really good. She slams down on those keys and put everything into her songs. I dont know if it is on any of their albums, but I was shocked when they broke out with War Pigs by Black Sabbath. The highlight was when Amanda Palmer tried to change into a t-shirt becuase her outfit was too hot. She tried to do it without flashing the crowd and failed. After that it was thirty minutes of her in a tshirt and stocking with garters and her sweaty hair in her face, messing up her makeup as she pounded away on her piano and poured out her lyrics. I dont think anyone the entire weekend sang with as much passion and intensity as she did. It was great to watch. It was quickly overshadowed by what was about to take place on the other side of the field. I have never heard about what takes place at a Flaming Lips show, but it is one of the most amazing spectacles I have seen on stage. Wayne Coyne starts off the show by climbing into a clear ball that gets inflated until its like a life sized gerbil ball. He then gets carried out to the audience and crawls over the crowd. When he gets back, half the stage is filled with dancing santas and the other half is filled with chick aliens. In the back they blow up a huge inflated santa, alien, and two astronauts who all start dancing around. And then they toss out about a dozen enormous blue balloons into the crowd that float in the air forever. And in the middle of all this chaos is this madman in a vest and dress pants with a huge head of hair. It's as if he is conducting all of the madness around him as he shoots off a seemingly endless supply of streamer cannons into the crowd. It was absolutely phenomonal, and the best part was that it fit the music they play. It wasn't spectacle that distracted from or covered up the music. Instead, it was a tremendous visual environment that was supported by and emphasized the music. Unbelievable. After that, I made my way back to the other side of the park and got ready for the last show of the night. I kid of heard The New Pornographers from the other side of the field, but now really. I would have liked to have heard them better, but I was getting a good spot for Kanye West. For a while I have been impressed by Kanye's ability to have catchy, popular songs while actually being a good rapper. And let me tell you, he blew the place up. He came out ready to put on a show for his home town and he delivered. He had a full string section, backup singers, and of course, a DJ. Here's a note to audio technicians, dont screw up Kanye's mic when he is in his hometown trying to put on a hell of a show. He will rip you a new one until its fixed, which in this case took about three songs. It was still a hell of a set that had half of Grant Park on their feet and dancing along. It was another good ending to another good day. I wasnt able to check out Gnarls Barkley, Common, or Blackalicious, but like I have said before, I had to make my choices. The final day will be in my next review.

#73 - The Debut

And here we go with another movie that nobody has ever heard of in their entire life. If you have, you came across it by accident, work at a movie store, or are a complete loser. Actually, there is a fourth option, and that's kind of what this movie is really about. If you are of Fillipino origin, you may have heard about this movie. You see, it was written, directed, mostly acted, and pretty much everything else was done by Filipinos. I can't say that I have ever heard of an endeavor like this before at this level of production. Do be sure, it is a low budget movie, but it is a fully realized film and not a backyard weekend production and I give the production team all the credit in the world for doing something that speaks to themselves as a community. They are saying what they want to say, to whom they want to say it to. Name another movie that does that sort of thing for any Asian-American group, much less Filipino's. You can't do it.

Having said all that(I'm sure you know where this is heading), the movie isnt very good. Its cliche after cliche and obvious, overused plot point after obvious overused plot point. Father can't relate to the son. You realize that the father has a similar relationship with his father. The father isn't just a tyrant, he actually cares to make a better life for his his son. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. But before you begin to think that this was a total waste of time, much like a particular made for the BET network movie I have seen, there is something of value that sets this movie apart. Remember that this is from Filipino's, and for Filipino's. All of the obvious plot points are done from that perspective. So when the main character has to choose between celebrating his sister's birthday and hanging out with his white friends, we see something that a Filipino youth could actually relate to. When that main character is embarassed about his family's culture and tries to hide it and reject it, these are things a Filipino youth could actually relate to. And that is what the movie is all about. Same old story, but told from their point of view, and dealing with issues specific to being a Filipino youth growing up in America. Congratulations for all of that. I was still bored watching it, and couldn't recommend it to anyone.

Unrelated side note: Two weeks ago I attended Lollapalooza in downtown Chicago. I had purchased my three day pass months in advance and was eagerly anticipating the first weekend in August. I was not dissapointed. For three straight days I saw good band after good band. Unfortunately, I wasnt able to see everything I would have liked to see, but it was absolutely impossible to see everything and sometimes I had to make some hard choices. So here is my rundown of what I saw at Lollapalooza. I was going to write this sooner, but work got busy, and I got a little lazy with my spare time. The first band I saw on the first day was The Subways. I had heard of them, but wouldn't have been able to identify one of their songs. This was a common theme with a lot of the bands. I'll tell you what, The Subways rock. For taking a chance and just picking a band to watch, I was quite pleased. Its not bad being ten feet from the front barricade wall either. Oh, and have a chick bassist is pretty sweet too. I made my way to the other side of Grant Park where the other stages were, and I saw The Eels. I love The Eels. have a couple of their albums and was looking forward to their set. They didnt play anything like they did on their albums. It was a lot rougher and more rockin than I expected, but it was still good. The have a bit with a security guard that is quite entertaining and the guys had agood time playing in green fatigues, even though it was at least 85 degrees. I wandered around for a while, hearing stuff here and there. Umphrey's McGee was alright, but I was really waiting for later. The Raconteurs came out and were absolutely phenomenal. Jack White is amazing, even while sporting a neck beard. I had not heard any of The Raconteurs songs but am a huge fan of The White Stripes. I was expecting something similar or something that was a show-off for Jack White. Not the case. They have their own sound and White is just another member of the band. At times he steps back and lets the other band members take the stage. It was awesome. And in what may have been the best, most unexpected cover of the entire festival, The Raconteurs broke out with Crazy by Gnarls Barkley. Unbelievably good. Standing there as the whole crowd realized what they were playing was great. As soon as their set got done, the Violent Femmes started on the other side of the field. I dont think there's anything I need to say about that. The fact that they were playing, and I was watching pretty much says it all. Great set. Gone Daddy Gone and Add It Up were particularly good. It was bonus having the Dresden Dolls performing backup percussion for the whole set, but more on them later. After the Femmes got done, Ween came out back on the other side of the field for the final set of the night. That meant an hour and a half as oppossed to just the hour that everyone else got, and they used their time wisely. They were fantastic. I only have Pure Guava and after about fifteen minutes I was wondering why in the hell I haven't bought more of their stuff. They mixed in old, middle, and newer stuff and were solid throughout. It was a great ending to an awesome day. I would have liked to have seen Sleater-Kinney, Iron & Wine, and The Editors, but you have to eat sometime, and other times you have to make some choices. But the weekend got even better. I'll get to the second day in my next review.

#72 - Honey for Oshun

You haven't heard of this movie? Could that be because you don't speak Spanish? Or, could that be because you are not of Cuban origin? I told you I would watch everything and if atomic bombs and BET movies weren't evidence enough, this should be. The difference is, this movie has something to offer the world. It's a simple story of a man returning to Cuba thirty years after being seperated from his mother and brought to America. He is on a search to find out who he real is, and reunite with his long lost mother. Not neccessarily brand new stuff, but there are some things about movie that make it unique.

I think the most important thing about this movie is that it was shot on location in Cuba. For someone like me, that means I was seeing images of Cuba that I have never seen before. The search that this man has takes him on a Plains, Trains, and Automobiles type of journey across Cuba...only serious. The camera follows him through the markets of Havana, into the countryside of Cuba, and into remote coastal towns. He does this in broken vehicles, old bicycles, and in the backs of trucks. There is a sense of the environment of Cuba that I haven't ever seen. Usually Cuba is all about Castro and his rule, but this movie doesnt mention it all and sticks with a more personal look at what it means to be in Cuba. Of course, not mentioning Castro is probably how they got this movie made.

I did have problems with this movie. First of all, can we put all subtitles in yellow? Yellow is the best color to use because it is usually in contrast with everything else on the screen. If the subtitles are white, at some point they will be in front of the color white, and then NOBODY can read them. I had the same problem with some of the Italian movies reviewed earlier, but didnt mention it until now.

The second problem that I had with this movie is that it was WAAAAAY too dramatic. The internal struggle of the main character was a little too thick. Make that a LOT too thick. It made it hard to sympathize with the main character because he is ultimately a selfish bastard. He pisses his fellow travelers off which leads to shouting matches where everybody screams out how hard their life has been and why. Too much. There's already a structure there that works and the heavy drama distracts from it too much.

On the whole, for me this movie was just alright. Seeing images of Cuba I have never seen before was really what was the most interesting to me. How the main character got across Cuba was somewhat entertaining, but ultimaately was overshadowed by the heavy drama. About halfway through the movie I realized that this movie would probably have more impact on the people of Cuba or Cuban immigrants who have severed familial relationships. If you look up this movie on imdb.com, you will read a user's comment that slams this movie. Pay attention to the fact that this guy is from Mexico. Sometimes you have to put yourself in the mindset of the target audience to see the true value of a movie. This movie does have its faults, but there is a connection that is being made between the main character and people in a similar situation, and that is what really matters, not production value.

#71 - Smooth Talk

This one threw me for a loop because the most bizarre thing happens in this movie. And it's not a surreal, weird, or wacky sort of thing that happens. Its not anything gross, unusual, or disgustingly awful. It's basically one scene that stands out head and shoulders above the rest of the movie, and it caught me completely off guard, and floored me. I'll explain...

The premise of this movie is simple, Laura Dern plays a high school teenager who is spending her summer break learning all about male/female companionship. She basically acts like a floozy, not realizing what it is she is doing getting herself into trouble with her mother. Its a pretty typical case of fighting mother and daughter. Nothing new there. They fight. They say things they don't mean, but you know they really love each other, blah, blah, blah, blah. Really, I was not entertained at all watching this movie. I was annoyed by the way the girls acted in the mall. I was annoyed at the mother/daughter fights. I was annoyed by the oblivious father. It was not entertaining at all. I found myself wondering what the deal was with bracelets in the late 80's. I remember the fad, but I was only ten-ish, so the full impact of it was nothing to me. Seriously, how ridiculous of a fad was it to put about 150 metal bracelets on each arm? Or, as a substitute, three or four plastic ones. Thats a 50 to 1 conversion ratio. The plastic ones must be spendy.

Here's another thing in this movie that is one of the silliest things I have ever seen. Treat Williams acting like a tough guy. I know what your saying, Treat Williams acting like an actor is silly enough, but throw in tough guy on top of that, and its out of control. But this brings me to the point of the whole review. You see, early on in the movie, Laura Dern walks by Treat Williams and he singles her out, but then he goes away, never to be seen...until later. He shows up at Dern's house when her parents aren't home. I'm sure you can see where this is going. What follows is one of the most frightening and intense scenes I have seen in a while. I was sucked right in to the interaction between the two, not knowing what would happen, or exactly where it was going. I could not believe it.

That is what was so bizarre about this movie. I couldn't have cared less about the movie until that one scene came around and I was locked in. Then, there is an implication about what happens, the family comes home and everything is resolved quickly and the movie was over. That was it!!! Sixty-five minutes of crap, followed by a dynamic, riveting, and unbelievably intense twenty minute scene, and then five more minutes of crap. Movie over. What the hell is that? I can't recommend the movie because on the whole, it was lame. But that one scene is SO strong I want everybody to see it. But it's probably not as strong without seeing all of the lead-up to it, which is CRAPPY!!!! Paging Joseph Heller!! Paging Joseph Heller!!!

#70 - The Great Ziegfeld

Is it over yet? Are we done now? Seriously, I watched this movie a week ago, and I'm pretty sure it's only half way through. I'm mean come on!! This thing is THREE HOURS LONG. Emphasis on the word "long". Here's a sign that the movie you are watching is way too long: It's not really a musical(check the previous review), and yet it has an intermission. Hell, it has an overture for chrissakes. Overtures are okay if you are watching a stage production. Or, if the overture is more like an opening song with some sort of animated credit sequence, that would be fine. This just has a graphic that says overture. BOOOO!!! I know, I know, they played it while people were actually getting settled into the movie theatre and all that crap, but it's not a freaking musical. Why is it that Hollywood has to lump any movie that relates to music into the musical category? When stuff like that happens, people like WAH-Keen Phoenix win a musical Golden Globe for Walk the Line. That's just not right.

So this is the point in the review where I begin to explain why I didnt really like an Oscar winning movie or the Oscar winning performance by the leading lady. Just thought I would put it all out on the table right away. You see, I understand why it won an Oscar, but I still just thought it was only okay. I think the best way to describe it is to say that it was a Titanic type of Oscar. I think what they looked at was the fact that the scope of the movie was so massive, and yet the movie was complete and well made. I just don't think it was THAT great. Of course, I dont know what other movies were nominated that year, so it may have been the best movie anyways.

You see, I think it could have been at least forty-five minutes shorter. The production numbers in the middle of the movie were amazing technical achievements. The massive scope of of the two scenes was amazing, even by todays standards. The design, and execution of everything is even more amazing when you realize that they were done with only one or two shots. I also understand that it was probably an accurate recreation of the types of productions that Ziegfeld made, but spectacle only goes so far in my book and since these numbers were in the middle of the marathon, I was almost already out to lunch. I know it may sound odd to have someone recognize all of the achievments of a movie, and still not like it that much, but that is what I am doing.

I tell you what William Powell was AMAZING. His performance should have won an Oscar. I would have been more than fine with that. But the actual Oscar winner was Luise Rainer, and I gotta tell you, I was none too impressed. I think the problem I had was with the way the character was written. I hated the wishy washy, whiny, "you don't really love me", "I can't live without you" nature of the character. I am aware that at the begining it was intended to be humorous, but when it kept happening into the dramatic moments, I was over it, WAY over it.

I also didnt like the episodic nature of the film. I'm not talking about a Mother Courage kind of episodic structure. More like one story about Ziegfeld after the other. It made the life of Ziegfeld seem choppy instead of a sweeping epic that this kind of movie normally is. But hey, if I could dance like Ray Bolger none of this would matter because I would be the coolest person in the world. And if I was as awesomely funny as Fanny Brice, you might just have to close all the stores and put the kids to bed early cause it would be going down TONIGHT!!! What the hell does that mean?

#69 - Alexander's Ragtime Band

UH-OH!! The Musical Alert System has just risen the warning level from amber to burnt sienna. My teeth were fully grinding as I placed this movie into my DVD player. Most of you may know that I have a pretty healthy dislike for most musical without actually having seen them. Its essentially a dislike for the genre. It makes me want to puke with how cheesy and sappy these things can be. But, like many other movies I have reviewed in this little dog and pony show, I am seeing my first movie from a classic film maker. In this case it happens to be Irving Berlin, and it just so happens that this movie isn't really a musical. I'll explain...

When I think of musicals, I think of possibly bad songs invading sappy dialogue and cheesy overacting. Of course, think isn't the case with all of them. To name a few obvious ones...The Wizard of Oz, West Side Story, Singing in the Rain, Mary Poppins, Guys and Dolls, and of course, the first Broadway show I ever saw, Avenue Q. These are good. I enjoy them. But I want to stab my eyes out at the thought of Damn Yankees. What I have seen of Seven Brides For Seven Brothers is enough to make me want to O.D. on drugs for Restless Leg Syndrome. Oh, and then there is the king of them all: Oklahoma. Haven't seen all of it, but the empty feeling I had where my soul once was somehow went away when I changed the channel. I still haven't come to terms with the fact that Wolverine was in the revival.

Why doesn't this movie fit into what I consider a musical? It's because the music is imperative to the telling of the story, whereas I don't think it usually is in most musicals. This is a movie about a band that makes it big, breaks up, makes it big again, and all that stuff. You couldn't do it without music. Could you do New York, New York without music? Could you do The Commitments without music? Could you do Kazaam without music? I don't think so. Okay, I never saw the last one and its not enough in my queue list, so we are all saved...for now. But to iterate again(reiterate), the music is imperative to the telling of the story. And it helps that Irving Berlin is really, really, really good at what he does. It's very entertaining music to listen to and some of the dance numbers that accompany the music are fun to watch also. YES PEOPLE, I enjoyed this movie.

And speaking of New York, New York, I have a greater appreciation of what Scorsese was doing with that film. Knowing the kind of film historian he is, I feel that I have seen the research that directly went into the development of that film. But he puts his own storytelling style into it, thereby making a kind of modernized and raw version of the film I just saw. I will say that I enjoyed Alexander's Ragtime Band more, but that would have more to do with better music than anything else. Plus, I haven't gotten over my unwarranted feelings against Liza Manelli. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

#68 - Born Free

"BOOOOOOOOORN FREE. As free as the wind blows. As free as the grass grows....okay, I dont know the next line, but who out there really does? If any of you do, and you actually respond to this with the next line, I will delete it. I won't be a part of that kind of activity. I the song won an Oscar. Hell, it's on the freakin picture. And it's nothing like High Hopes was in A Hole in the Head, but with the way the song comes in at the end of this movie and with the type of song it is, its just too much for me to not make fun of. Its the music that we have been hearing throughout the movie and it just swells in and the lyrics swell in with it. It's so dramatical and upliftingish I can barely stand it. So here's a short list of Oscar winning songs: 1. High Hopes 2. Born Free 3. It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp. I think that pretty well sums up the 80ish years of Best Song winners, don't you?

I'm about as ambivalent about this movie as I was towards Ring of Bright Water(check the archives moron). It's one of those things that I watch and I know its good, I know it's well made, I know it's exactly what those two lovebirds wanted to make, and I can even see it's as popular as it is, or was, but I'm ultimately left with a feeling of "eh". It's alright. That's it. Just alright.

I think the reason I feel the way I feel about this movie is because is pretty much the same freakin thing as Ring of Bright Water. Oh sure, animals, characters, continents, and basic plot points are different, but the overall approach and goal by the lovebird film makers is essentially the same. An inimate connection between a human and an animal. Exotic or remote locales. People learning more about themselves through their relationships these animals. Got it? I'm not slamming these things, I'm not even criticizing them. I'm just not blown away by what I saw. I do realize that I saw these two movies out of order, but that just makes me understand why Ring of Bright Water isn't as popular. I get the feeling that most moviegoers felt the way I feel, only in reverse and without as much ambivalence. Here's a question? Have I overused the word ambivalent and its derivatives yet?

Here's something I picked up on while watching this movie. I was sitting there, watching the flick, and I realized that the acting isn't exactly spectactular. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't the greatest. And the writing wasn't exactly the greatest either, yet this was a popular movie. How does that work? Then it hit me as I realized that interesting dialogue and extremely dramatic acting wasn't the point of the film. The point was the animals and the relationship that develops. And that is clearly the point that Travers and McKenna were going for. They made exactly what they wanted to make and they did it in exactly the right way to convey their message. I have to give them all the credit in the world for that, even if I am "eh" about it all.