#115 - Gangster Story

Since I didn't really remember any of the details about this movie I went on imdb.com to refresh my memory. Here's whats funny about that: the picture that shows up on the page for this movie is completely wrong. It has a color picture of Walter Matthau, and he's sporting a sweet 70's/80's era 'stache. Well guess what, this movie was made in the 60's, sans 'stache, and it's in BLACK AND WHITE. I don't know where they got that picture, but they must have thrown it on some DVD or VHS cover somewhere trying to sell some copies. All this boils down to yet another sign that you are watching a crap movie. If the picture used on the packaging of the movie to try and sell the movie is NOT from the movie for sale, the movie probably sucks ass. In this case, it does.

This movie was Matthau's first foray into directing. It was also his last. Now I don't wanna pile on good ol' Walt cause he's a good guy. I mean, how could you not like Walter Matthau? But this movie just isn't that good. I think it was made before he was a well known star, so I guess it doesn't count against his overall score. You see, it's just dull. No real soundtrack that I can remember. A bunch of static shots. A lot of flat dialogue. And here's the thing, the plot is actually a good one. As shocking as it is, you've got Matthau playing a gangster. He's on the run from the law and hides out in a small town. While there, he robs a bank or some small town gangsters and pisses some people off. Honestly, I don't remember too many details and had to remind myself of the ones I do have. I just remember a dull, plodding movie that could have had more suspense.

Here's the good news: this is last movie in the Classic Ganster Movies set. That means I don't have to try and remember details about an old movie rating anywhere from average to bad that I watched over a year ago. I get to do it with other crappy movies. Trust me, there are some crappy ones coming up. I don't have any bad news, I just didn't have a better way to start off this train of thought. Hell, I'm trying to figure out to end this thing with a clean break. I mean, I didn't say much about a movie I don't remember that well. That has to be fascinating to read. Just wait, there's more where that came from.

#114 - Gangs, Inc.

Hello boys and girls!! Didja miss me? It's only been...oh, let's see...A YEAR since my last review. Why so long? Well, I moved to a new place just before summer and then soon after I got a new job that has me on the road a lot. I know what you're saying. Why don't I do it while I am on the road and stuck in a hotel in the middle of nowhere? I don't know. I don't have a good answer for that. Now, I have kept watching movies on my blockbuster.com list, but not as frequently as I did before. Again, I have no reason to not bring them on the road with me, I just don't. Every time I have brought them they haven't seen the light of day. But for every time that has happened, there has been a dozen more times where I was in my hotel room with nothing but shite on the TV and wishing I had the damn DVD's with me. Oh well, it is what it is. Having said all that, I am now going to attempt to write reviews for movies that in some cases I watched over a year ago. If that isn't retarded, I don't know what is. Some of these movies really sucked. I may not be able to thoroughly state why they sucked, but at some point I hope to catch up. Its gonna be up to imdb to help me out in some cases.

Without further ado, we have Gangs, Inc. This is the second movie in a set of three that goes by the name Classic Gangster Movies. I know it's been a while, but what do we remember about these cheapie movie sets? That's right, the adjectives in the title are usually the opposite of what they describe. These are not classics. They couldn't even be mistaken for classics. Now, that doesn't mean they are bad, just not classics. I will say that this movie was at least interesting. What happens is that the leading lady is an innocent girl who has to go to jail. I don't remember why, I just know that she didn't do it. While in jail, she becomes a tough ol' broad, and when she gets out, she's a criminal and she wants revenge. Not bad. I found myself wondering why this sort of story hasn't been redone by Hollywood more often. Maybe it has. I'm just not aware of it. They probably put them into sucky movies so no one knows about them.

I wanna mention the actors real quick. As I was watching I couldn't help but think I had seen the leading lady before. I didn't know who she was, but she looked familiar. Turns out she was in a movie I had seen just five movies earlier, King of the Zombies. That tells you how bad that movie was. And she is really good in Gangs, Inc. She plays a hard case dame really well. Very entertaining. Think of it like this: Catherine Zeta Jones was in The Phantom. I know. I don't remember either. That movie sucked so bad that you don't even remember some of the people in it. You think of her in Zorro first. Well, take that example, but instead of a two year gap, it's only five viewed movies. Thats ridiculous. Here's another thing: Alan Ladd was in this movie. Yeah, it says it on the cover, and yeah, he's on the cover, but he's barely in the damn movie. It's a classic case of a movie made by someone before they become a star, so they put that star on the cover to try and get people to buy or watch it. It's false advertising. Sure, it is technically an Alan Ladd movie, but come on people!! And another thing: if an actor uses a different name for a movie than he normally goes by, you have to use the better name. The big guy in the picture is Jack La Rue. Apparently he has made some movies and is well known in some circles. But in the opening credits for this movie he goes by the name Lash La Rue. Hello!! That name is freaking awesome. By no means should they have him go by his actual name. COME ON!! Lash La Rue? Are you kidding me? I love it.

So, that's my first review in a year. I don't know how frequent these will be from this point on, but I'll do what I can. Hopefully they don't suck. I will let you know that the randomness of the selections get even crazier than you may remember. There was a lot of movies not readily available at the top of the queue, so things were sent in a less than orderly fashion. It at least makes it interesting.